Right, so here we are. Minecraft, the block-building, pig-punching, Creeper-dodging game that defined an entire generation of children… has a movie. And not just any movie. A live-action movie. With Jason Momoa and Jack Black. If you’re confused, don’t worry—you’re not alone. I watched the whole thing and I’m still not entirely convinced it wasn’t a fever dream brought on by too much Monster Energy and pixelated nostalgia.

Let’s be very clear: A Minecraft Movie is not for grown-ups. It wasn’t written for them, it doesn’t care about them, and at no point does it pretend to be anything other than a loud, silly, hyperactive sugar rush designed for eight-year-olds. And frankly, that’s both its greatest strength and its biggest problem—depending on whether you’re the child, or the adult sat next to one.

Plot Simplicity That Borders on Parody

The story is simple. Painfully simple. A glowing cube and a square-shaped MacGuffin teleport four Earth children into Minecraft’s Overworld, which is under threat from a villainous sorceress named Malgosha, who hates art for some reason. It’s never explained why, but I assume she lost a finger to a glue stick or something. They meet Steve (yes, that Steve), the game’s famously mute and personality-free protagonist, now played by Jack Black as if he were the bastard lovechild of Thor and a speed-addled theatre kid. Together, they must find the crystal, save the Overworld, and learn the power of creativity, friendship, and other vaguely inspirational nonsense.

It’s predictable, unoriginal, and about as subtle as a Creeper explosion in a nursery—but that’s sort of the point. This isn’t Inception. It’s not even The Lego Movie. It’s a big, dumb, colourful slab of entertainment meant to keep your children occupied while you slowly regret not bringing noise-cancelling headphones.

Jack Black: National Treasure. Jason Momoa: Questionable Decisions.

Jack Black is, unsurprisingly, the best thing in the film. His portrayal of Steve is completely unhinged, gloriously absurd, and—let’s be honest—the only thing keeping most adults from chewing through their own armrests. But here’s the genius: it’s deliberate. Steve, in the actual game, is a blank slate—a literal nobody, designed to be you, me, or your nephew who’s just built a 400-foot obsidian toilet. He has no personality. So what did the filmmakers do? They gave Jack Black the keys to the kingdom and said, “Go nuts.” And he did. This version of Steve is Black on a triple espresso, singing, shouting, and bouncing off every block-shaped wall. It shouldn’t work—but somehow, in this world of cartoon physics and CG sheep, it absolutely does.

Jason Momoa, on the other hand, is… well, he’s trying. He plays Garrett “Garbage Man” Garrison, a washed-up gaming World Champion with a hero complex and the emotional range of a broken joystick. The problem is, Momoa doesn’t really do absurd. Not convincingly, anyway. It’s like watching a rugby player try ballet—it’s enthusiastic, but it’s not elegant. I love Momoa, both as an actor and as a personality. But in this, he’s clearly trying to match Black’s energy, but instead of elevating the film, it feels like he’s just flailing louder.

The supporting cast includes Danielle Brooks, Jennifer Coolidge, and Rachel House, all of whom manage to wring a few laughs out of this chaotic block-fest. But the real star—for better or worse—is the tone. Campy, self-aware, and constantly winking at the audience, the film knows it’s ridiculous. And rather than fight it, it leans in at full speed.

Visuals: Surprisingly Good. Character Designs: Surprisingly Horrifying.

Credit where it’s due—the CGI is actually quite impressive. The Overworld looks like someone dumped the entire art department into a blender full of candy floss and childlike wonder. The buildings, landscapes, and action sequences pop with colour and energy.

But then there are the creatures. Oh dear. The animals and Villagers look like someone took Minecraft mobs, added semi-realistic textures, and then forgot to give them souls. Watching live actors interact with a dead-eyed cubic sheep is the stuff of digital horror. There’s even a romance subplot involving a human and a Villager that, frankly, raised more questions than it answered. But again, the film knows this. It makes fun of itself. Which is good, because I certainly was.

For Kids Only. Seriously.

Here’s the thing. I don’t think A Minecraft Movie should be reviewed in the traditional sense. It’s not for people like me—people who overanalyse plots, care about character development, or wonder why the villain wants to destroy creativity in a world literally made out of it.

It’s for kids. And if you have one, they’re going to love it. They’ll laugh at the pig jokes, gasp at the Creepers, and worship Jack Black like very much like how I did when I watched Kung Fu Panda for the first time as a wee lad. You, however, will spend 100 minutes questioning your life choices and wondering how Momoa managed to make shouting feel exhausting.

It’s cringey. It’s campy. But I also didn’t hate it. It’s a decent kids’ movie with decent effects, a few solid laughs, and one Jack Black performance away from total disaster. In the end, A Minecraft Movie is like stepping on a LEGO brick: painful, absurd… and somehow inevitable.

Final Score: 60/100

Premieres in theatres in Malaysia on 4 April 2025.