Yep, it’s time to take out that #fuckKonami hashtag again.

If you happen to be at this weekend’s FVxSEA Major 2018 tournament at Battle Arena Malaysia, you’ll probably come across the Contra Returns booth where the iOS/Android game is made playable on the show floor. If you want to see a stream of the game, you can head over to eGG Network’s showcase of the game, though I doubt you’ll miss much since these kinds of ports end up being a shell of their former late 80s selves.

From the looks of it, it’s taking the concept of Contra: Hard Corps where your protagonists Bill & Lance (and a few other pay-to-play characters) have life bars and can take more than one hit. Oh and the premise of running and gunning and dodging still takes centrestage but now on a touchscreen.

Because when I think precise 2D controls, I think lag-induced touchscreen controls. Brilliant.

Look, we won’t judge the game too much since we only tried out the Chinese version briefly, but we’ll say this:

• If your freemium characters like Brad Fang are OP and are pay-to-win options for your game, you’ll get a review beatdown.
• If your game has any sort of non-cosmetic gacha elements, you’ll still get a beatdown.
• If your game has any “use real money to resurrect yourself from a tight spot” mechanic, you’ll definitely get a beatdown.

Do understand that by taking the Contra legacy in this “bold new direction”, you’re going to be heavily compared with the 1987 NES/arcade classic and the 90s sequels and spin-offs.